Michael may have a point, Andromeda.
I hate these blog post boxes. They mock me with their emptiness when I’m trying to queue up pages. I don’t know what to type. I don’t know what anyone wants to hear me talk about. Anything I start writing, I erase because it feels kind of pointless.
For those who don’t know, I started therapy a few weeks ago. In the third session my therapist asked me what goals I had for therapy. What did I want to get out of this? What things did I want to work on? I thought about it for a few minutes and I said: “I’d really like to not be so closed off from people.”
The thing is, I don’t know how to connect with people. I’m an introverted empath who feels things very deeply. When someone I care about is sad, I’m very sad. When someone I care about hurts, the pain is absolutely excruciating. As a result I tend to close up from most people. It’s exhausting to feel so many things. It’s exhausting to carry everyone else’s baggage along with my own. And that is very much what I do. When a friend vents to me, or tells me about their bad day or their sadness, that becomes my bad day. My sadness. I want to take it from them so they don’t have to feel it. And it’s really frustrating and tiring to be carrying around so much stuff!
I desperately wish I could find things to talk about easily in these blog posts. I wish I had fun, insightful things to say about storytelling and world creation, the way my friend Robin does. I wish I had fun stories to tell that tie in to my comic pages. I wish I could be funny and make people laugh with these blogs. But I just don’t feel like I have any of that. And when I do have an idea I tend to censor it. I get halfway through writing it and I go “No one wants to hear this. It’s stupid, stop it. No one will read this drivel,” and I erase it.
These blog post boxes vex me. They haunt me.
You have no idea how hard it is right now not to erase the last 5 paragraphs and only post “Michael may have a point, Andromeda” in this box. But I told me therapist that I wanted to try to connect with people more and so this is me reaching out. See those social media links to the right? Click one and tell me what you’d like to hear my thoughts on. Or just tell me how you are today. Tell me what your favorite robot from pop culture is! Tell me why you read Adrastus. I want to put things on this site that you will enjoy! Help me do that?
See you all next Monday, right back here, for another page.