Andromeda, I think you may be slightly outmatched… Also, tried something a little different with the coloring for this page. Tried to make the backgrounds cooler colors to make them seem further away, and I shaded with some experimental techniques.

I’ve blogged here several times about my PMDD and Depression. Now I have another update, and a request for some help with a big change that’s coming.

Some of you know that right before Adrastus started, I lost a lot of weight. Like… 110 pounds of weight. I was the fittest I’d ever been my entire life and felt great, when I wasn’t having PMDD issues. Once we got insurance I went to my doctor and they prescribed me anti-depressants that have helped a lot with the mood swings. (Some of you may know this from me talking about it at conventions and such) However, they’ve also made me gain weight again. I’m almost back up to where I was when I started losing weight the first time, and I feel terrible and out of breath a lot, don’t have my old strength, and can’t fit in to anything any more. I’ve been exercising and tracking my food again, but have found that not only is it impossible for me to lose weight while on these pills, it’s also apparently impossible for me to have any willpower around food too. I’ve done some research and this is a common problem when on these medications, because you feel good, so food is good again, and then you overeat, and then the medicine hits you with also not being able to lose weight.

I had an appointment with my doctor on Monday, and after four years of being on medication, we both decided that the best thing right now is to take me off the medicine and see if I can regulate the PMDD on my own. Since I “Hulk out” on PMDD, she prescribed me a pill to use as-needed when my mood swings are bad and I’m irrationally angry, and we’re now weening me off the anti-depressants. I should be totally off pills in a few weeks.

This is partly exciting and partly terrifying, because I remember how I was when I wasn’t on medicine and I don’t want to go back there. But I’m also tired of putting chemicals in my body and want to stop doing that. I’m exercising, eating healthy again, and have even started doing some yoga and meditation, all of which I hope will help with regulating my mood. But I’m going to have mood swings. I’m going to have tough days where I’m angry at the piece of paper I just dropped on the floor and then crying over an episode of Cinema Sins. It’s going to happen and I’m a little frightened. So I thought I would start building up a support group now, before it happens, so that the support structure is in place and I have a plan for when things get bad.

If it is okay for me to text, tweet, FaceBook Message, Tumblr message, Skype, or email you when things are bad so that I can blow off steam and have someone to talk to, please let me know. I’m putting this here because it’s easier to put it here and then link to it on all my social media than to post it a thousand times to all my social media. I’m going to make up a list of people who don’t mind dealing with me when I’m at my worst, and make up a plan for how to deal with difficult moods, and post it on my wall so that I see it and it will be visible to me and I’ll remember it when things get tough.

Now, it’s almost time for this page to post so I will stop blogging.

Today’s page made, as always, in Manga Studio EX5


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